When my family and I confronted him about it, he broke down and apologized… he said he was ashamed of his childhood and went through sexual abuse and verbal abuse, and that his parents were drug addicts so he didn’t want anything to do with them. So being the Christian woman I am, I forgave him.
During this time, I found out I was pregnant by him, so that was a big factor in me staying.. because I had no finances of my own. I was in school and didnt’ have a job. He is in the military and had a good job and brought in good money each month. However, he would shop it all away and blow it. I feel like he caused the debt to get me to stay because he knew I couldn’t pay it off on my own. He was also mentally and verbally cruel to me while I was in my first trimester and I hit him out of frustration. He says if I ever tried to divorce him, he would tell everyone how I “beat” him and would use it against me to take my child away.
So fast forward a couple months— I have tried everything in my power to make things work. He is now in Iraq and we are still together. I have been trying to pay off the debt, but he has been very difficult with money management over there. He is shopping in Iraq for stupid stuff and spending lots of money to send it home. I told him that I just want to make sure our finances are okay because we have a baby on the way. I never shop!
Anyways… due to modern day technology, he expects me to get online every single night at 11 AM and talk to him until he has to go…which isn’t until 2 am. If I don’t get on right at 11 or if I try to get off before that, I get accused of being a bad wife or cheating… I am neither. I am the most loving, faithful person who is in a really controlling relationship. I am also 7 months pregnant and get tired…I can’t do everything. Being pregnant is very tiring and I feel bad if I tell him I need to go to bed.
If I do anything wrong or say something wrong, I get cursed out, put down… He will talk down to me.. Today, he ordered me to turn my webcam on… and I didn’t have it on in time, so he called me dumb and stupid and a bad wife becuase I didn’t have my web cam on right when he wanted me to have it on. He compares me to the other army wives and says they dont complain of being tired to talk to their husbands.
Truth be told, I really don’t like talking to my husband anymore… Everyday, he will find a way to make me cry and feel horrible about myself. He threatens divorce every single time we argue or if I stand up for myself.
I have had it… My family doesn’t like him anymore because they are the ones that see me cry. My family knows all about his lies and possessive nature and they can’t get past it. I have tried everything!
What should I do?! I have no money, no car of my own because he sold it… I’m about to have a baby!
ONE MORE QUESTION—
He says he would fight me for custody of the baby if I left him.. Is that even possible?!
Also— we were married before we found out we were pregnant. I didn’t marry him because I was pregnant, but it was a big factor in me staying in the marriage after I found out!
